9 PAX gathered in the soggy gloom under the awning near the gym in the Etowah High School parking lot. 65 degrees and wet. The nine followed the QIC in a brief mosey back to where they started, and the following transpired:

WOR:
SSH x10
Imperial Walker x10
Weed Pickers x 5 (nice and slow, like the Good Lord intended)
Sungods – OYO
Michael Phelps – OYO

Then the group took a three-step walk to back under the awning, where they found a repreive from the soaking, and a board of pain detailing what the next 35+ minutes would entail.

Merkins. All the merkins.

THE THANG:

Utilizing a tabata timer, the group did three rounds of 10 exercises. Each exercise for one minute, followed by a 20 second reset between exercises. At the end of each round, there was an additional 1:20 rest period. Each round of nine exercises contained five different iterations of the merkin. And now, onto the complaining…

ROUND 1
Merkins
Squats
Werkins
LBCs
Hand-release merkins
Mountain climbers
Decline merkins
Crunchy frog
Mike Tysons
Low plank

ROUND2
Merkins
Bobby Hurleys
Werkins
Big Boy Situps
Hand-release merkins
Monkey humpers
Decline merkins
Apollo Ohno
Mike Tysons
Flutter kicks

ROUND 3
Merkins
Copperhead Squats
Werkins
American Hammers
Hand-release merkins
Reverse lunges
Decline merkins

…the timer went off after the rest following decline merkins. Timed well enough. Not perfectly, but good enough for a free workout. Didn’t make it to six inches. Brad Pitt was disappointed. He didn’t say it. But you could tell.

COT
Prayers for Sharapova and his M (Amy). Prayers for Snowflake and Chancellor as they confront various personal and professional developments. Praise for Bradybunch as he continues to grow with his older 2.0s.

Oh, and I can’t feel my shoulders. Thanks, Merkin May.