Today was a freaking cold day in the gloom. Mother nature must have decided that it was time to mess with the southerners. Giving us the promise of spring warmth and then BAM right back to the winter cold.

YHC promised the PAX an exicon OG beatdown on Slack. I might just have pulled it off, I’m sure the jury is still out.

So, at 0530, we got started. I led things off with Slaughter Starter – 20 Burpees OYO at the AO before doing anything else. Well I guess most of us started (cough, cough Training Wheelz).

Next, we moseyed to the entrance to finally start the Warm-o-rama. We did some SSH, Weed pickers, Tumble Weeds, Imperial Walkers, Sun Gods, and finished up with some Michael Phelps. We moseyed back to the first intersection in the neighborhood.

The Thang started with:

Indian Giver – like an Indian Run but Bernie Sanders style. The lead PAX faces forward to hopefully help us avoid obstacles.

We did surprisingly pretty okay until the end. We finally started stumbling over each other, so I figure that was a sign to move on.

Next, we moseyed down to the cul-de-sac near the playground for the next thang.

7 of Diamonds

• 7 Mike Tysons
• 14 flutter kicks (2 count)
• 21 Merkins
• 28 Squats

Markers for this were a light pole, a fire hydrant, a trashcan, and a storm drain. Pretty creative right? It may have looked like a drunken gemcutter carved out this fine gem, but it may have also seemed like a drunken a-hole picked the exercises too. I wasn’t drunk, just an a-hole.

Next, we made our way over to the playground for another thang.

Six Pack – like 11s just a little bit smaller.

• 1 pull up / 5 merkins
• 2 pull ups / 4 merkins
• 3 pull ups / 3 merkins
• 4 pull ups / 2 merkins
• 5 pull ups / 1 merkin

Once we were done, we headed to the other end of the main stomping grounds of the Slab for yet another part of that thang.

11s – bear crawl up the bank complete exercise, jog down (safely), complete second exercise at the bottom.

• Jump Squats
• BBS

This part of the BD was destined for doom from the get-go. Squat jumps after 112 squats. WTH was I thinking??? Then there was a part that Richard Petty came flying around the curve like he was trying to cross the finish line at Talladega… that dude was a real Richard.

I got a little grunting and groaning when I cut everyone’s 11s short here. Something about not letting them finish. That brings up fond internal battles of the question “why did I have kids”…

Lastly, we made our way back to the flag, for one more thang.

Roxanne – hold plank listening to Roxanne by Sting & the Police

• Merkin for every Roxanne
• Plank Jack for every Red Light

The DJ was horrible. We only got to hear about a minute and a half of the song until he cut it for something called the COT.