When the idea of the Race on Ruck first came into existence, it was a response to nation-wide protests amidst a global pandemic. I was hearing a lot on many sides of the issue, and felt called to teach, from my knowledge and experience what some of the terms were, why things were happening, and the history with which we were dealing and witnessing at the same time. I called Vespa with the idea, being that he had already been doing a lot of this teaching for his white friends, and because part of the problem I was witnessing is that many black people were telling us there were problems in our country with race, and many white people weren’t listening. One of the main reasons was because we were hearing things from a distance. We were hearing lessons taught to us by people we did not know, and we were hearing lessons through social media, which creates an emotional distance between us that necessary components of any conversation around a sensitive and pressing issue, empathy and trust, were lost. If we did not agree with someone, we could swipe it away without giving it a thought.
So, in tinkering with a format of being in-person, insisting on grace and openness, we picked a day to work together toward a better understanding of the current landscape of racism, as well as learn what is at the root of protests and backlash surrounding the subject. A ruck was chosen for two reasons. One, we are an exercise group. Rucking is one of the most social exercises that we do because it is not about impressing the person next to us with speed or strength, but walking alongside one another for a while, and still having enough breath to talk. Two, it is symbolic. Vespa pointed out the symbolism in one of his excellent reflections in the run-up to this event. We are carrying a weight on our backs, and our country has carried a weight on its back since its foundation.
To start our time together, we said a prayer for patience and openness, and knelt in honor of George Floyd. We knelt for 8:46 seconds, which is the same amount of time he was knelt on by a police officer. This was a powerful moment, not only because of the silence during reflection, but how uncomfortable it was. 8:46 kneeling on the ground is a long time, and even the PAX kneeling were uncomfortable and had to change positions. It brought the reality of that moment into painful clarity.
In the first hour, we rucked and listened. Vespa patiently answered our questions, while also pointing out realities to which many of us who are white were not aware. Vespa started us off with four thoughts, he  doesn’t speak for all black people, but our experiences are similar amongst our group, I don’t expect this ruck to solve everything, but I expect it can lead up to be part of a solution. We covered topics such as education reform, local political involvement, national narrative, and mass incarceration. Probably the most poignant moment for me was when someone asked if Vespa believes slavery could never happen again. His response, “In my head, I believe slavery cannot happen again, but in my heart, I’m not there.” He then went on to explain the 13th amendment and how prison populations still do slave labor in our country.
We then moved into the exercise/metaphor portion of the morning. A quick note before we get into this part. When Vespa and I were talking and planning this event, I told him I wanted to theme the numbers and exercises around real cases of police brutality and injustice around the country (this conversation happened the week Jacob Blake was shot in the back seven times.) Vespa told me that would work, but that he knows that before we got together to have this event and conversation, that it was going to happen again…and he was right.
So what we did instead is a twist on a well-used metaphor to help frame people’s understanding of white privilege and the social realities experienced through race. We split into two teams, chosen completely by chance and at random. One team was called the white team and the other team was called the black team (knowing what was coming, Vespa quickly volunteered for the white team). Bloodhound graciously allowed the heavy sandbags to be used and four were distributed to the black team.
The rules were as follows. This is a race. There will be winners and losers at the end, and there will be some form of exercise punishment for the losing team. The white team still had to have their rucks, and the black team had their rucks plus the four sandbags which were identified as red-lining, wealth distribution, eduction inequality, and mass incarceration. Both teams had to do the same exercises, but the black team had to do them with the heavier weights. The exercises were as follows, 20 Derkins, ruck to the field for a 75 yd. Kodiak crawl (bear crawl dragging your weight), ruck to the bridge and overhead carry across it, ruck the path between Etowah River and Heritage parks, stopping at every bench for 20 dips (five benches). Ruck to Heritage park where you were greeted with 20 merkin pull-throughs, ruck to middle of the park for 50 flutter kicks holding the weight, and then ruck to the finish line on the opposite end.
The white team won, so the black team had to do 10 burpees. But the metaphor of the event opened up the conversation, as the meaning behind the sandbags was present. We talked about redlining, mass incarceration, wealth and education statistics. We talked about grace and empathy. We talked about how there are some extraordinary individuals who can overcome the burdens they were born into, but that it is a much easier path when those burdens are taken away.From Vespa:
The best part for me was the actual live demonstration of what it feels like to attempt to make it through this life with obstacles that weigh you down (the 4 sandbags placed on the black team along with their rucksack, versus the white team, still with rucksacks but no extra burden).  From the vantage point that I had on the white team to begin, a few things were noticed:
1-We still were working hard.  We had obstacles come up, were giving our all, were tired, and we had to push through some times we wanted to give up.  We were not without difficulties.  But we did not have the extra burden and we knew it.
2-At times, knowing that the other team had extra weight, we considered going back to help, but we were mindful that it meant we would have to give up the distance we had in front and purposely give up that advantage, and we were unwilling to do so.
3-We subtly mocked how far ahead we were, by taking a little extra break here and there, taking our time through the exercise, walking instead of running.  We knew how far we were ahead and knew that it would be impossible for the other team to catch up, so we were not stressed about giving maximum efforts at times.During the transition, essentially when the race was completed and we were making our way back, Wham-O posed the question: should we switch weights/teams or should the white team just come alongside the black team and help?  Three major observations were made here, to me at least:
1-The white team by and large was more likely to ask for the weight to be shared.  We did not want to have to completely carry the burden.  Effectively, we were acknowledging that we knew that the burden was great and we were only willing, in general, to help after the other team had carried the burden to begin with.
2-The black team did not expect the white team to carry the burden all themselves and were willing to help the white team.  They knew what it felt like to carry it alone and in doing so, wanted to assist the white team in carrying the load.
3-Neither team, when working together, on the way back, carried the weight solely or alone.  The weight switched back and forth and no one team gained a huge advantage.  There were times when one of the PAX fell a little behind due to their lack of stamina or the weight for a particular exercise, but always, a PAX member came back to grab the 6 and all the PAX finished together.  Both teams made it.  Both teams completed the exercise.  Both teams were successful.We all pushed outside of our comfort zones and learned a lot. We learned daily realities people face by being born the way they are, and where they are. We learned ways we can help, and ways we can understand. We also learned that it is our responsibility to know our neighbor so we can offer grace and speak up on behalf of others. There was a great conversation about challenging the dominant narrative, and learning from others.After making it back to the Etowah River parking lot, we circled up for the COT, name-o-rama, and prayer. We prayed for continued growth and understanding. I am thankful for the men who made it out, pushed through the difficulty, and came out stronger on the other side. May it be so with all aspects of our lives as we strive to be leaders in our community.