It was an unseasonably cold April Fools Day, and we got right to business. First up, Indian fun run with E-Tool’s sticks of pain. The PAX had four concrete filled sections of PVC to carry and pass back to the man behind, and the last man ran to the front, all while rifle carrying.

We ran to a promising looking grassy area to get Gas Station Ready. We did 20 Elbows-Sprawls and 20 Knees-Sprawls. After throwing the bows and knees we ran around to the front of the school for the

THANG

I promised whoever was dumb enough to show up that they would earn their very own April Fool E-Tool. We started with 5 merkins near the center island and then ran down the hill. We then proceeded to

E   VEREST up the hill. At the top, 5 more merkins and then

T   -BOMBS(IC, 10). Followed by 5 merkins and then

O   NE LEGGED BURPEES (right leg x5). Followed by 5 merkins and then

O   NE LEGGED BURPEES (left leg x5). Followed by 5 merkins and then we ran up the stairs for

L   BFCs (Little Baby Flutter Crunches x20). Back down the stairs for 5 more merkins and repeato.

YHC wanted the PAX to stay together so we planked on the six between each exercise. After two rounds YHC figured the PAX had earned their E-Tools so we picked up the sticks of pain and Indian ran back around the back to the flag. We circled up and YHC called for more merkins and then some Imperial Walkers. Then we went around the horn so the PAX could call out some of their favorites. As near as I can remember here’s what we did…

Foosball called out (surprise) Monkey Humpers. During the humpers one of the PAX made highly inappropriate monkey-like noises.

GoDaddy called out Bear Crawls down to an arbitrary light pole. By this point the Q was sorry he turned over control to the PAX.

Nesquick had us do a short mosey to some stairs and there we performed calf raises, ballerina style, pigeon toed, and then straight footed.

Tiny Tat, not to be outdone, called out Crab Walks down to that same arbitrary pole with a NUR back to the Flag. YHC can’t decide if he hates those or Bear Crawls more.

Icy Hot decided to abuse some more primates by calling Gorilla Humpers. Once again an unnamed PAX made very inappropriate gorilla-ish sounds.

Butterfly called (another big surprise) Mike Allmans (known by some as Mike Tysons). He does them like a machine, while YHC could barely get his elbows to bend by this point.

The King of all Lizards had us mosey to a wall for some Donkey Kicks, another particularly sucky exercise.

While we were there, YHC decided the PAX needed some Balls to the Wall. That’s a TOUGH pose to hold! YHC didn’t last very long! Then we lined up on one of the parking lot lines for a sprint. YHC exhorted the younger men to run faster than his own old a$$ and as far as he could tell most of them did.

We moseyed back to the flag with about a minute and a half to spare so we planked to run out the remaining time. Count off, Name-arama, and GoDaddy was 6th Man.

During the CoT, prayers were requested and made for  GoDaddy to be able to discern and focus on what’s important, and for his sister’s pregnancy. Also for One Scoop and his family as they mourn the loss of Shara, for Sgt. Slaughter, Hooch and Stopwatch as they battle their maladies. for PAX that are battling spiritual and physical difficulties. Also for us men in general, to be better fathers and husbands.

Mumblechatter overheard included: Nesquick mentioned during our run with the sticks pf pain that maybe we shouldn’t have brought so many of them with us. Foosball decided to drop the E in YHC’s name and just call him TOOL because I made him do One Legged Burpees. Hey Foos, no one made you do a six mile pre-run brother!

NMM: It’s such an honor to lead these men through a beatdown! Even though I started the BD pretty much already smoked, the Qdrenaline I get from the mens’ energy and enthusiasm carried me through most of the beatdown. It’s almost an addicting feeling!